My Rizal Blog MkII

Regarding the issue of Rizal writing a retraction letter, as much as I’d like to think that Rizal had bit written a retraction, it seems to be hard to believe that he didn’t write one. This may not be the obvious choice but let’s think it out a little more.

It seems to be quite true that Rizal had become a man interested in his life as seen by his attempt to travel to South America for a malaria outbreak. This interest in his own life had some believing him to be a coward. Yet if he stayed in the Archipelago, what would have awaited him? Death, that’s what. It’s thoroughly convincing that he believed in the principle that he who fights and runs away may live to fight another day. If he just had laid down his life, he’d be giving up. Rather, he chose to try and extend his life by travelling to South America, perhaps biding his time.

He was, however, captured and went to Dapitan without much of a fight, most likely thinking that struggling wouldn’t help. He is now faced with the Spanish authorities, read the Catholic Church, and is at their mercy. What other choice would he have than to sign a retraction with, perhaps, a promise of release or at least a prolonging of his life? Rizal wasn’t a fool. He thought with logic and despite his principles, he knew that if he were free, he could pull a 180 and fight with even more fervor to make sure that the contents of this retraction would be disregarded.

This would seem extremely hypocritical though. The Filipino people were deeply affected by words and actions, his signing a retraction would have been a liability to him if he ever got out of prison. It also wouldn’t be above the Spanish to force Rizal through any number of methods. His heroism would of course be affected by a retraction.

On the case that he willingly signed it to extend his lifetime, it would have been a great blow on his credibility and probably reduce his status as a hero by leaps. Imagine how the resistance would feel that he would throw away all he worked for in some desperate attempt for life. How could they bare such embarrassment? On the other hand being forced into a signing, as was most likely the case, it would add humanism to our hero and not as the spotless and incorruptible man we usually see him represented as yet still a representative of heroism.

I suck.

This is not an overstatement. Or an understatement. I just wanna take this time to hurt myself like the M I am. If you don't get what I mean by M, that might be a good thing but if you're curious try watching Gintama. It should be somewhere there.

Back to the self-loathing. Actually, this mostly came up because I lost my phone. Again. The first was a stupid mistake during a school-sponsored marathon. The second was F'ing stolen. Bastards. The third was on a tricycle ride with my sister. Thankfully she found it when leaving and gave it back later that day. The last one was a few days ago. Another tricycle. Mostly because of their low seats and my loose-pocketed trousers. Did I just say trousers? I must have; I typed it after all. That's besides the point. I'm such a spaz.

I'm also stupid academically. People praise me but I'm really quite dumb. I never bother to work at anything. HEY! I'm also lazy apparently. Anyways, I remember the last quiz I had in integral calculus. I got a 15. Bloody 15 points. >:|

I'm not fully to blame, or so I'm told. I was passing the class so I, along with 8 other people, got a special test sort of thing. That was totally the wrong thing to do, passing. Well currently I'm passing the class with 15 other people in a class of about 50. I suppose I should feel good about this but I'm only passing by the skin of my teeth. I'm not even sure teeth HAVE skin.

Oh. Did I mention I've spent an estimated 400 dollars on manga, figures, and posters? I mean, I've saved quite a lot on those purchases but it's kind of sad if you think about it in the local currency. It sounds even worse when you say that you've spent 20,000 pesos on this sort of thing. If I make an estimate... I have about 80 volumes of manga, 13 Gunplas [Gundam plastic models], 17 assorted figurines, a Deathnote box set, and say 10 posters. I feel a bit worse now that I list it out like this. Man. I know it's not that much compared to a lot of people but on a normal sense... I'm such a loser.

At least I've been on a date. Which brings me to another point in that I'm such a spaz with her. She even says that she acts more like the guy with her pushing of the relational type things. I just don't like pushing things that don't need to be pushed. Is that so bad? I'm not really the type to do or talk of this sort of thing so let's skip it. Just know that I'm a pansy.

Let's talk more of school then. I don't do anything, remember? I fe--

I lost my train of thought reading Princess Lucia. A newly translated manga somewhere. I have a short attention span. End post.

Now Playing: Ask DNA - The Seatbelts The theme song from the Cowboy Bebop movie. It's really fun. The movie and the song. I especially love the part where he sings out that Buddha loves you and Jesus saves.

Thought of the day: I suck.